Feeling Stuck in Your English? Here’s Why & How to Get Unstuck.
This lesson on How to Get Unstuck in English has been updated and was originally published in January 2017.
Have you ever felt stuck in English like this:
-
“I try to do something in English every day but nothing works, I canโt remember new words and I still feel stuck.”
-
“Iโm so embarrassed that I canโt speak to my colleagues in English. Iโve studied for years but Iโm still stuck.”
-
“Iโm ashamed because Iโve spent so much time and money learning English, I even lived abroad in England for a year, but I still can speak fluently.”
โIf you said yes, youโre not alone. These are all things my students have told me when they first started learning with me.
And truthfully, Iโve felt the same way in my second language โ stuck, frustrated, embarrassed, even guilty.
So today I want to share 5 reasons you might be stuck in English and how to get UNSTUCK.
Plus, todayโs lesson will help you stop feeling frustrated, embarrassed, ashamed and guilty โ why guilty? Because maybe there are things you know you SHOULD be doingโฆ but youโre not. And you feel guilty about that.
But you don’t have to.
Then, at the end, Iโm going to share my favorite strategy for getting out of a rut.
5 ways to get unstuck in English.
Stuck in English? Here Are 5 Ways Out.
Strategy 1: Drop the vocabulary app and the grammar book.
When weโre stuck, we always do the things that seem easy and comfortable to us, like getting a new grammar book or vocab app.ย
๐But doing the same old things will keep you in the same old place.ย
To get out of a rut, youโve got to try something new, you have to challenge yourself.ย
My students always hear me say, โIf it doesnโt challenge you, it wonโt change you.โย
If you need some ideas for something NEW and CHALLENGING in English, Iโve got 2 recommendations:ย
- My 5 Favorite Ways to Get Speaking Practice
- Check out the recommendations for students below.
Strategy 2: Get to step 2.
Step 1 is to make the decision to try something new โ but are you really doing the work?
For example:
You decide you want to live a healthier life so you get a gym membership and fill your kitchen with healthy food butโฆ you never go to the gym and you only eat pizza for lunch.
Will anything change? NO!
Youโve got to do the work. Step 1 is making the decision. Step 2 is doing it.
So ask yourself โย and be honest โ are you really doing the work to help you accomplish your goal? Or did you stop at step 1?
When youโre honest about that question, two things happen:
- It removes the guilt you feel about NOT doing what you should do.
- It gives you the freedom to make the right choice going forward.
Strategy 3: Make the right choice for today. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
Going from zero to 100 doesnโt always work.
If youโre struggling with doing something in English every day, then try 3 days a week.
And if thatโs still not working, try this: Every Wednesday I share a new lesson.
Can you watch the new lesson and then (hereโs the challenge part) take 2-3 minutes to summarize (out loud) what you learned? This is the speaking practice part, which is 100% necessary to improving your speaking skills.ย
Start where you can. And let that be okay, because it is. And worry about tomorrow tomorrow. It’s a new day and an opportunity to make a new decision.
Strategy 4: Get professional help when you need it.
We all do from time to time. I’ve definitely needed professional help when I felt stuck.ย
And that’s exactly why my students learn with me when they feel stuck in English.
A professional can help you avoid pain and embarrassment.
A good professional will know exactly what you need and will help you make quick, effective progress.
If English is important to you, invest in it and get a professional.
Strategy 5: Give yourself permission to accept what’s true.
Most of the time when I hear students say, โI want to be fluent but I canโt find time to study.โ
โI canโt find a good teacher.โ
โI canโt take a class right now.”
What they really mean is: I won’t.ย
It’s not a priority for me right now.
And that is 100% ok! But you’ve got to be honest about it.
We find and make time for things that are important to us.
We find opportunities for things that are important.
If getting unstuck in English is important, you will find time and a way.ย
And if it’s not, you won’t.ย
Accept that. Remove the guilt.ย
You’re in control of your choices and what’s important to you right now is perfectly fine.ย
Bonus 1: How My Students Get Unstuck
Change that Negative Mindset
Daniela says:
I overcame the challenge of feeling stuck in English language thinking of ‘I am not stuck.”
There is a quote in American culture and it says: “Fake it before you make it.”
So think about you speaking English well instead of on what you don’t know yet. Nobody is perfect. How we work with our mind is the key!
The classes with Speak Confident English helped me to make the shift. Encouragement and support and also the desire for expressing my thoughts in English language.ย
Do Your Chores in English (and Listen to Something Fun!)
Iryna says:
Since this summer, I developed a habit of not to do any housekeeping chore without listening to something in English.
Even though it is sounding as background, I always pick up something useful. I feel that I spend my time double efficiently because of that.
ย I listen to YouTube videos. I prefer youtube channels about minimalism life style… [and] I have a list of sites with free podcasts and transcripts.
Here are some of Iryna’s recommendations for something interesting in English:
News in English https://www.newsinlevels.com
English in 10 Minutes https://englishin10minutes.com
The Whole Happy Life
https://www.youtube.com/user/wholeandhappy
Simple Happy Zenย
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5c3csRaQTw9ZnHge1mTw4A
Create a Regular Practice
Tanya says:
The most important thing is to practice regularly, just for 10 or 15 minutes but every day. I use every free minute to do something in English.
For example, I listen to different English podcasts every morning while Iโm walking my dog.
I have a tradition to read something in English before I go to sleep.ย
(Want some recommendations for reading? ๐ I’ve got a lesson on great books to read in English at every level.)
Combine Reading, Listening, and Speaking into a Cocktail
Olga says:
I canโt offer any new or original tip to make your speech more fluent and not to feel stuck โ only practice! The more the better!
Reading is the best activity to boost vocabulary. Listening helps you to understand people and improve pronunciation.
And speaking transforms your theoretical knowledge into practice.
Iโm sure if you get this โcocktailโ every day even in little โportionโ youโll breakthrough. ๐
Challenge Yourself
Emilia says:
After 5 months living in the US, I think practice every day has helped me.
If you donโt have a partner, read out loud to practice the pronunciation, you can also listen to podcasts and try to record yourself talking about what you understood.
Itโs important to do activities that challenge yourself, for example, record yourself talking in English and then you can see what you need to improve if it is grammar, vocabulary or pronunciation!
Take a Class
Rafif says:
For me, I have noticed that I need to engage in a class to learn new things, what I mean by learning here is to get to know new vocabularies and grammar and to fix them in my memory.
After that, I need practice (speaking, listening, writing) to use what I have learned in a good way.
Binge Watch TV (Yeah! TV Is Good for You!)
Maria says:
ย Well, my tip is โ binge-watch as many series as you can, of course, if you have plenty of free time. ๐
But do it without subtitles, because when you have subtitles you always try to read and follow them and thatโs too easy and very bad for your eyes! So, try to get everything with the help of your ears and that way you will sharpen your listening skills plus you will get the real language, the one natives speak!
Itโs what you need! And if you donโt know some words or donโt get some phrases, itโs ok, you can make a little break and try to find the words or phrases in your dictionary. In 80% of cases I find it, so will you!
There is a great chance you will remember the phrase, coz of all the concentration and desire you have to know what they are talking about in the movie!!
Learn It and Use It
Anastacia says:
ย There are a lot of tricks that I use when I feel stuck in English.
But I want to share my top tip. If you learn a new word, a new phrase or some grammar, you should use it the same day.
For example, maybe write a comment on Facebook or an email, tell your friend or relative about it. You should connect with this word, phrase or idea emotionally. It will stick to you very soon. And revise it a couple of days!!!
Bonus 2: My Favorite Way to Get a Positive Boost When I Feel Stuck
In the video lesson, I shared my favorite way to get the positive energy I need when I feel stuck.
I (secretly) love dancing! ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐
I find the best female-power dance song and get moving.
Want to listen to my favorite right now? ๐ง
Try Lizzo’s “Good as Hell“
Whew! Today’s lesson is full of info and resources!
There are 2 things I really want to know from you!
- What is your secret way to get a positive boost?
- If you feel stuck in English right now, what is 1 new thing you will do in English to challenge yourself and get unstuck?
As always, you can also ask questions or leave your feedback in the comments section below.
– Annemarie
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My child facing difficulty in English and after going through your post. Now, he is improving well. Thank you so much for sharing amazing tips.
I’m so glad to hear that, Steffen. Thanks for the comment.
Thankyou for inspiring us by giving so amazing lessons. I also tried to speak English with everyone and got encouraged by your amazing lessons above.
I’m thrilled to hear that, Gurneet.
! Annemarie So inspiring lesson …as many of others of yours!.. I would not say that I generally feel stuck in English…but rather I enjoy progressing in English. But sometimes,esspecially after “a stressed” day I naturally feel something like ” getting stuck”.. The one of my favourite methods to get confidence is listening a song by Nat King Cole.He performed a lot of Arts ! A song can be known (for me) or not , not so matter . The power of authentic Art makes me unstuck instantly!! By the way ,Nat King Cole has a great diction.I can understand… Read more ยป
Hi Artemii, Nat King Cole is definitely a great motivation. What a great recommendation! And I’m glad to hear that you enjoying progressing in English. ๐
Thanks you for sharing your tips and strategy. Personal speaking when i need a boost of energy i go for a walk, or i usually workout at the gym. Concerning English, i try everyday to do something in english, reading, listening, or writing. A New challenge Is to listen to your videos and then summarize orally on my own. You gave the idea and iam going to follow it. Have a nice day and i really appreciate your help.
Hi Konstantina, thanks so much for sharing your strategies to get an energy boost AND for how to get unstuck in English. I’m thrilled that my lessons are a new part of your routine!
I am also feeling stuck in English. I am glad to find your blog to fix it. Thank you for sharing the tips.
You’re so welcome, Mayce.
First, I’d like to thank you for sharing advices that boosted my confidence !
Second, as i am upper intermediate in english anyway what brought me up to date level is all practice! But still i do have problems when it comes to speaking though i know very well basis grammatical points, expressions, phrasl verbs! Why? Becoz i hadn’d any practice of speaking while i was learning!!!
Thanks! Regards!
We are so glad you found the advice helpful Reshad. You are absolutely right that speaking practice is so important in really feeling confident and being able to speak fluently. That is so great that you have realised how much practice has helped you get unstuck. As an upper intermediate student it can be hard to find enough opportunities to practice and refine high level skills. So, when you don’t have an English environment around you then it is great to create one for yourself. For example, do something you love in English, like watching a movie, listening to a… Read more ยป
Hi. How can I download the worksheets? Can you send me a link?
its really interesting to see comments people who have done i also have these kind of problems i have a important one if i learned a new word its difficult to identify where i use it in a sentence
I know English to some extent.thank you for your advices and it will help me to grow up.
Hi Malina, I’m so glad you’ve joined our community. You’re definitely not alone in feeling stuck sometimes. I’m glad this lesson was useful to you and I hope you continue to find others on my site. ๐
Dear Annemarie,
I am stuck in improving my English for long while and easy to get bored and give up few day and sometimes just wake up and repeating this process. Because I am really want to have a better English but the way I learn is useless/boring.
And I just search and” watch “English not LEARN from it.
Your website really helps me a lot to find the goal/tips from now on and working hard on it. Thanks so much for your tip and advice.
Regards,
Carrie
Hello Carrie,
Thank you for your comment. I understand how you feel and you’re not alone. Without a clear direction of what you want to learn (or need to learn) in English and why, it can be very challenging to know what to do.
I hope you downloaded the worksheets to help you set clear, actionable goals that you can achieve every day.
And I’m so glad to hear that my lessons are helpful to you and motivating. Thank you for sharing that.
I wish you continued success in your English efforts!
Best,
Annemarie
Hello Annemarie,
I also have a problem with downloading your guide. I have tried to use two emails, but it doesn’t work. I haven’t got any email from you. Can you help me, please?
I also want to say, that my main goal is to improve my grammar knowledge and to avoid doing typical mistakes. Of course, it would be perfect to increase my vocabulary. I am looking forward to your answer.
Thank you in advance,
Anna.
Hello Anna,
I’m so sorry to know you’re having trouble with the guide. Have you tried to check other folders? For example, some email accounts have a ‘spam’ or ‘junk’ or ‘promotions’ folder. It might be there. If you still can’t find it, please let me know. I will email it to you directly.
I think you have two great goals to start with! I look forward to you using the guide to create a plan forward. After you use the guide, I’d love to hear what you plan for the next 30 days! Best, Annemarie
Hi Anemarrie,
When I speak with foreigner, I want to speak
easily (all I know) without
consider as like speak my
native language.
If I can speak more clearly, more easily, I have
a good chance to attend and to discuss with top
management level of our company.
So, I need to improve
in English more than now.
San Dar
Hi San Dar,
Thank you so much for sharing. Have you been able to use the guide yet? What steps can you take to begin reaching your first goal? Best, Annemarie
Hi, Annemarie
Just like to know why am I not receiving a reply or comment from you. I’ve been joining the group for 2 weeks and doing as what you were telling us to do. Is this really a free online English class. I really wanted to improved my English especially my grammar.
Hello Olivia,
Thank you for the question. I try to reply to all comments within 24-48 hours. These lessons are available online for you to learn from and use for free. I do provide a free 10-day fluency challenge that happens a few times per year and is focused on speaking. It is by invitation only for those on my Confident English list. I hope this helps to answer your questions. Best, Annemarie
Hi Annemarie,
Thank you very much for replying to my inquiry and for all the English Lessons that you’re sending thru my email. As of now, I’m quite busy at home and at work, need to practice for my mock call; because of these not able to read yet your lessons for this week. I’ll be busy until weekends but I’ll try to do some catching by early next week.
Thank you again.
Best Regards,
Olivia
Hello Olivia,
You’re very welcome. I’m glad they’ve been useful to you!
I wish you great success as you continue with your studies.
~ Annemarie
Hello, Annemarie My goal for the next 30 days is to improve my speaking English and begin to use it in a daily life. I have been learning my English for a long time. But I noticed that still cannot use it because of the lack of practice. I have learned a lot of words but realised that forgot it and cannot use when it’s needed. So I have made the first step and left my job in order to find the new one, where I can begin to use English and have more practise of it. Every day I… Read more ยป
Hello Yulia, Thank you for sharing! It sounds like you are doing many things to make progress in your English. And I wish you much success in looking for a new job that will also help you use English every day. Were you able to download the step-by-step guide in the lesson? I recommend starting with the guide to help you think about all the things you want to do in English, to set specific goals, and steps to achieve your goals. As for finding specific vocabulary, I recommend starting with reading articles, newspapers, or journals that are specifically connected… Read more ยป
My biggest goal is to improved my communication skills in English. Since I am working as a call center representative. I want to be fluent in this language as if it is natural for me. There were times that I feel so frustrated because I can’t talk much because of limited vocabulary and thinking of words that I need to say. I really need your guidance in order for me to succeed. I felt, I am just like a grade school student who need a tutor for my lessons in school. In my case, it would be my English Language.
Hi Olivia,
Thanks for sharing your challenge! Were you able to download the 2017 Fluency Goals Guide? I recommend starting with the guide to identify 1 thing you can begin working on during the next 30 days in your English. For example: if there is just 1 thing you could improve to help you at your work in the next 30 days, what would it be? Use that in the guide to help you create a plan to achieve that goal and then, after you succeed, you can create a new goal. ๐ Best, Annemarie
I have learned English at school, at the University. I have learned English many years and I can read. I’m proud of my listening skills. Last year I spent a lot of time by listening English videos. And I can understand what people speak. I hear individual words not just unclear sounds. I don’t understand films like Sherlock, but I can understand. for example, your videos.
But I cann’t speak English. When I have to speak English, I feel myself very nervous and I clam up.
I don’t know how I can track my progress
Hello Oksana, I really like that you started with something positive, something that you’re proud of! And the ability to listen to most speakers and to understand them is a great accomplishment. It is clear that you worked hard to make that happen. So now the big task is speaking. ๐ Like the idea of “fluency,” speaking is too big for a goal. Let’s start with this process: use the guide and ask yourself – what do you want to speak about in English (specific topics), when do you want to speak in English (specific situations), what skills do you… Read more ยป
Yow do you use English in your life? I read blogs and watch TED Talks. I’m very interested in the questions of personal effectiveness, self-education and online education. How do you want to use English in your life? I want to communicate with people from different countries. I want to read detective novels and watch films in English. There is TV-show without russian translation. For example, The Real Marigold Hotel. What do you want to do, to accomplish, to achieve when you use English? I want to travel and help my friend and my son to study English too. How… Read more ยป
Hello Oksana,
I’m very glad the guide is useful. Have you been able to follow the steps and choose 1 goal to start with?
Best, Annemarie
Hi Annemarie, many thanks for the lesson. I will follow the tips gathered by you and I hope I will get improvement and unstuck in my English.
Hello Oksana,
Wonderful!! When you complete the guide, please feel free to share your specific goal. I want to make sure you’re successful and to support you. ๐ Best, Annemarie
Hi Annemarie. My goal is to speak English like i speak French. I sometimes hold events of worldwide organisations and English is the language we use to communicate with them. This is why I am studying English and I apreciate how you are helping me. Go ahead and thank you.
Thank you so much for the comments and feedback,Felix. I appreciate it.
I hope that you’ll use the guide and find it useful to you! Best, Annemarie
Hi Annemarie,
My ultimate goal is to speak fluently in English, and my goal for the next 30 days is to prepare on how to start, end a conversation, how to describe the things, how to approach anyone.
I sometimes stuck in the middle of a sentence, and I can’t really express what exactly I wanted to say. I keep trying to remember the words to speak, and I feel embarrassed.
For the record I took a lot of time even to write this. Thank you…
Hello Chaitanya, Thank you for sharing your next 30-day goal with me! I’m excited for you to accomplish it. Have you decided on some specific activities you can do regularly to help you accomplish the ability to start and end conversations more easily, to describe things and approach anyone? If so, what steps will you take? I’d be happy to help with some ideas, but I think it’s important for you to start the list. Feel free to share with me and I’ll be sure to help. Also, you might find my lesson on 10 Questions to Start a Conversation… Read more ยป
Thank you for your reply..
I have no idea on how to achieve or start working on my goal. I barely talk to the persons in English in my daily life, since everyone likes to speak in their own languages. Here, I request you to help me out.
Hello Chaitanya,
It sounds like you had several goals for the next 30 days… starting a conversation, ending a conversation, etc. I recommend getting very specific with your goal. Think about these questions: what kind of conversation? With whom?
Make your next 30-day goal very specific. Then think about some activities you could do to help you reach that goal. When you have a few ideas ready, feel free to share with me and I can provide some feedback. Best, Annemarie
To be specific I wanted to speak at least the right information with right words, when I approach any person or friends(even it is a casual topic). Grammar is a major thing where I have to concentrate.
And to implement this I may have to practice myself alone by reading the sample conversation’s as a reference. Since, I don’t perform well alone I need to be suggested some other ways too.
Thank you, Chaitanya.
Hello Chaitanya,
Reading is one way to practice, but can you identify any other ways you might able to practice speaking? Even if you are alone?
You mentioned that you feel you don’t perform well alone. Can you say why you feel that way? Best, Annemarie
I have a problem to download your fluency guide. It does not work.
Hello Anetta,
I’m so sorry. It should be working (it is working for others). When you click, it will ask for your name and email address. Then you should receive an email with a link to the guide. Pleas let me know if you’re still having trouble so I can help.
Best,
Annemarie
It is working ๐
A huge thank you for all the work we put in here ๐
Great! I’m glad to hear it. Thanks for letting me know.
~ Annemarie
Your suggestions are very clear and consistent but for me it is very hard to clarify one particular goal per month and decide with resources would be the most useful. Despite of some activities in English I have to do at work, but there is no room for memorization, I have only long-term aims. The first is to finish the whodunit which I am reading and listening. I decided to try to read one chapter a month, as it is not just about reading but mostly about learning vocabulary. The secend goal is to revise material from textbook I have… Read more ยป