#213: Express Opposing Ideas & Opinions with Neutral Language
Imagine your boss has decided on a new marketing strategy… but you know it will backfire and you disagree with the plan.
How should you proceed? How can you make sure your voice is heard without stepping on someone’s toes?
One of the biggest challenges my students have is how to clearly express their opinions when talking with someone who’s opposed to their point of view.
Do you have the same challenge?
Of course, one option is to stay silent but that is not a good long-term solution to English confidence.
A better solution is to use 3 expert strategies and the right phrases to share your point of view in a polite way, even if you have an opposing idea.
And that’s exactly what you’ll learn to do in this lesson today.
3 Expert Strategies to Express Opposing Ideas and Opinions in English
LESSON SUMMARY
Strategy #1: Acknowledge Strengths of the Opposing Argument or POV
Before you disagree, first, acknowledge the speaker’s thoughts and expertise. Highlight the strengths in their argument. This doesn’t mean you agree! But it shows that you’re respectfully listening.
Then, state your opinion to clearly inform the other person of your thoughts.
Focus on functional phrases like:
- In my opinion…
- It seems to me that…
- In my experience…
- Based on my experience…
- My concerns/thoughts are…
Examples:
- “Your points are valid and I agree with what you said about the expenses. Based on my experience, increasing the price for more profit could impact consumer demand.”
- “I understand your reasoning and think you make some good points. In my opinion, gradually reducing our expenses will help us save more money for a new house.”
Strategy #2: Focus on “I” Statements
To reduce any tension, it’s important to take the accusation or blame away from the other person.
Separate the person from the problem and avoid word choices that highlight the contrast (i.e. but, however, I disagree). Your goal is to express your opinion on neutral ground.
Use “I” statements such as:
- I think…
- I believe…
- I understand…
- I’m convinced that…
- I see…
- I would…
- I agree…
Examples:
- “While your proposed cuts will help balance the budget, I think we should be mindful of how those cuts could affect our business.”
- “I understand that you have certain goals in mind. At the same time, I believe we should consider how daycare costs can be minimized.”
Strategy #3: Use the Power of Suggestion
If the topic is controversial or the other person is sensitive to opposing thoughts, utilize the power of suggestions to express your opinion without emotionally laden words. ( = excessively affected by emotion; appealing to emotion as opposed to reason or logic)
Frame your opinion as a question or a suggestion with the following phrases:
- Let’s consider/think about…
- Have you thought about..?
- What if we…?
- How about…?
- What do you think about…?
- What are your thoughts on…?
Examples:
- “I agree that the customer’s satisfaction comes first. What do you think about training team members by assigning them a different role every month?”
- “I agree that we should look for a more affordable option. What if we minimize a few expenses until we find a cheaper daycare center?”
Time to practice!
Based on what you learned in the Confident English lessons, how might you respond in these two scenarios:
- Scenario 1: A friend strongly feels that children get a better education at home rather than at school. You have a different opinion. How would you express your opinion without upsetting her?
- Scenario 2: Your son’s teacher strongly recommends that he switch from an AP (Advanced Placement) class to a regular class, due to poor performance. You know that your son has had a tough month and that he is able to do well in the AP class. How would you express your disagreement to the teacher?
The best place to practice and share is in the comment section below.
Have a fantastic Confident English Wednesday!
~ Annemarie
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I understand your point as there is a specific degree in Advanced Placement class, and you think children who are below this degree or lose their performance should take their education in a regular class. My concerns here are, I strongly believe he is capable of this AP class and both we know that he had been taking very good results in his lessons till this month. Last month was a tough month for him and that’s why his performance decreased. You know there are times of feeling down and staying unmotivated for each person, which he has been experiencing… Read more »
Oh, well done Gamze!! Thank you for sharing your example answers here.
I particularly liked how you started this sentence, “My concerns here are, I strongly believe…” Great way to share your concerns. And you did a nice job supporting your concerns with details and offering a suggestion for a second chance. Very well expressed.
I think your reasoning could be gaining time which is wasted on the way to and from school, preparing for the school so that this time could be used for more beneficial. At the same time, I purely believe in the idea that human is a social entity and children are not only taking education also learning how to be socialized in school. The time they are together on the way to the school together or having lunch, break between lessons are the most active times for their social learning of how to be in good communication of other children,… Read more »
You’re amazing Annemarie. I’ve learn a lot today. Thanks!
Thank you. I’m glad the lesson was helpful.
Miss X, I trust you and with no doubt respect your decision based on my son’s poor performance. But you can notice the large gap in the assessment in the exams’ period of time(I have sent a justifying letter from the doctor, explaining the health issue) ; So far, I didn’t have the opportunity to make clearer the situation that my son has lived these last weeks, and switching to a lower grade mightn’t be psychologically helpful at all. I am convinced that you are comprehensive when you check the first semester’s results. What do you think about giving him… Read more »
In my opinion, giving home education to children is not efficient. Because, to make a successful, open- minded citizen we should let kids live some experiences : competition in exams, interaction in class between pupils is useful to teach kids the way to criticize tactfully and accept critics. Based on my experience, I think that at home kids start learning good manners and values, being respectful and helpful with their family members; in the other side they need to widen the circle of acquaintances when they go to school !! Actually, the social life provides people positive and negative experiences… Read more »
You’ve done a nice job sharing your opinion here, Raoudha, and stating why. Before you share your opinion, how might you show your friend that you’ve listened to her and appreciate her point of view?
Here I got pretty well your point of view about home education, it might be providing parents waste of time and less stress, as with the daily rush to get ready the kids then driving them to school !! It might seem like a cozy life, but I think it isn’t durable. In my opinion, giving home education to children is not efficient. Because, to make a successful, open- minded citizen we should let kids live some experiences : competition in exams, interaction in class between pupils is useful to teach kids the way to criticize tactfully and accept critics.… Read more »
The first time I have heard about kid’s education at home, it was when I visited some friends of mine in the USA. In my country, education is free. At the age of 6, kids start primary school for six years. Then, they have to pass a national exam to be able to enroll in middle school, where they stay three years .to get to high school, teenage people must pass a national exam. (they spend 4years in high school). I think, with this itinerary, it would be boring to stay at home for both of them parents and children.… Read more »
Senario # !: I understand your reasoning and think you make some good points. But I believe, school is a better place for child development because it just not only provides learning environment, it helps kid to be socialize as well. Senerio 2: Your points are valid but it seems to me, he had hard time last month, if he gets a chance, I’m convinced that he will able to overcome it.
Wonderful job using some of the neutral language from the lesson to comment on another’s perspective while also sharing your own. Bravo!
YOUR DISAGREEMENT WITH TEACHER.
I think your decision to put my son from higher class to regular class is not an issue for me but that will affect his temperament seriously.He is an intelligent and hard working boy, if he will be degraded his confidence level will go down.As soon as he will recover from this trauma of illness he will be progressive again.
Nicely done, Meena! I appreciate that you are able to so clearly state what your position would be on this issue.
PARENTS REQUEST TO TEACHER.
Of course people prefer home schooling and there is nothing wrong in it but I certainly believe that certain things students learn in school is much more better than they learn in home.For instance, to become a part of society,I mean social skills which are essential for overall development they will learn in school only. Different kinds of physical activities like body building,sports,cultural activities etc are the priorities nowadays.
So studying in schools is far better rather than studying in home.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Meena! You have a strong point of view with convenient arguments. Nicely done!
Hello Tanya, your response made me very happy. Thanks for appreciation. I like Annemarie’s lessons, she does lots of efforts to make us understand her point of view.I found her on You Tube and started to get her link every Wednesday. Learning English is my passion, Still I am not good at it but I will try until I get mastery on this language. Say something about you.Bye for now. Good luck my friend.
Scenario 1: I understand what you think. You would get the control of everything, like topics and schedule; in addition, it would be very comfortable to stay at home, avoiding to waste time in transportation. My concern is in another sense. I believe there is a fundamental think to be considered: Kids need to socialize. Have you think about it? Please take a moment to analyze this point. Scenario 2: Your points are valid, and I appreciate your concern. I believe all of us have ups and downs. It seems to me that my son have had a bad time… Read more »
Oh wow, Beatriz!! This is excellent! Great job apply what you learned in this lesson.
I am particularly impressed with your first example because it’s such a tricky topic and difficult with friends. Your example response is full of compassion and kindness while also making your position clear. Nicely done.
One little correction: “Have you think about it?”
Typically we ask this with the past tense because we ant to know if someone has already considered it. How might you change it to a past focus?
Scenario 1: I believe it would greatly limit mothers, not allowing them to work in their professional areas, outside the family environment. I think that it will be difficult to maintain discipline in the schedule, so as not to compromise the progress of studies. From my point of view, in my opinion, that not all mothers have the academic background to help their children. I understand that the mother’s profession will be compromised, decreasing the family income. Scenario 2: Sorry professor, I would like to leave my point of view for you to evaluate. I was the cause of my… Read more »
Thank you for your comment, Aparecida Margiti Caetano Abujamra! It’s exciting to see that you made time for practice. This is how progress happens. Well done!
scenario1
I respect your feeling that Children get better education at home rather than school, I believe Children will acquire better understanding when they are in school with their colleagues as it pushes them to put more effort in studies to emerge the ultimate in class
scenario 2
I appreciate your concern towards my son’s performance, it seems to me that my son has had a tough month and that could probably be the reason of his poor performance
Hi Alberta. Thank you for sharing your examples with us. We’re thrilled to know the lesson was helpful to you.
Nice job combining the strategies you learned in this lesson, Alberta! I see how you’ve commented on the strengths of someone else’s argument to show that you’ve listened. And then you gently transitioned into your own position. Nicely done!