How to Disagree Politely in English
This lesson on How to Disagree in English was originally published in June 2016. It was updated with a new video in February 2019.
At work or university, with colleagues and friends, in a business meeting or discussion with your professor, sometimes it’s necessary to disagree or say no.
And that is ok! In English-speaking culture, it is important to share your opinion and express your ideas. But how should you do that in English – politely?
Today you’ll learn exactly how you can disagree politely in English with 3 simple strategies.
Note: The art of disagreeing with others differs from one culture to another and person-to-person.
With this lesson, you’ll learn the best English phrases you can use to show you disagree in both formal and informal situations without offending anyone. These expressions will also help you learn how to share your opinion.
But one thing is important to remember: Always stay calm.
Keep your voice and your body movements calm – that will help you and the other person feel good about the disagreement. The goal is for everyone to walk away from the disagreement happy (or at least not angry).
Three strategies to disagree politely in prickly ( = irritable, crotchety, disagreeable) situations.
Lesson by Annemarie
Professional English for Disagreeing with Others
The most polite way to disagree with someone is to use one of these strategies when introducing your disagreement:
- show that you understand the other person’s opinion
- apologize before introducing your disagreement
- pretend to be in the middle or unsure about your position
Using these strategies helps to soften the disagreement and make your position or argument more effective.
- I see what you’re saying but I think…
- I respect your point but from my perspective (or but in my opinion)…
- I take your point but that isn’t the way I see it; instead, I think that…
- True, that is a fair point, but I have to say I disagree…
- I understand where you are coming from but…
- There is some truth to what you’re saying but don’t you think that…
- I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you on…
- I’m not sure I agree with you on…
- I don’t think you and I have the same opinion on this issue.
- I’m afraid I disagree.
- I’m sorry but I don’t agree.
- I don’t see it that way.
- I’m sorry but I disagree with you on this.
- I respectfully disagree.
- I have a completely different opinion on that.
In a Polite Disagreement, Always Offer an Alternative Solution
To effectively argue for your position or opinion, it is best to finish your disagreement by offering an alternative or a suggestion. This is a solution-focused argument and can also soften the disagreement.
Here are some great expressions to use after expressing your disagreement:
- Instead, I think we should/could…
- My suggestion would be to…
- An alternative solution might be…
- I would recommend that we…
- How about we…
- What do you think about _______ instead?
- If you ask me, I think we should…
Informal English for Disagreeing with Others
With close friends and family, we can use these more informal (and often direct) expressions to say we disagree. These would not be appropriate for the workplace unless you know your colleagues very well.
- No way!
- You must be joking!
- You can’t be serious!
- I totally disagree.
- I don’t think so.
But what if…?
What if you talk and talk and talk but neither of you can agree with each other? This, of course, does happen at times. Perhaps you and your colleague or friend will never see eye-to-eye ( = agree on something).
We have the perfect expression for this situation. And it will help you end the disagreement in a polite, amicable way. If you cannot discuss it anymore or you cannot find an agreement, just say:
- Let’s just agree to disagree.
Yes, if you agree to disagree then at least you find something to agree on!
Everyone wins.
After you’ve watched the video and reviewed the language you need for disagreeing in English, I’d love to hear from you!
- Have you ever had a disagreement in English? Maybe with a colleague, client, or friend? What is one tip or piece of advice you have to disagree with someone politely?
- Imagine you and your colleagues are discussing a team-building weekend. Your boss prefers a specific weekend, but many of your colleagues will be away. Once co-worker thinks you should choose the weekend your boss wants but you disagree. How could you do that?
As always, this is a great opportunity to get practice in the language + help others in the Confident English Community by sharing your thoughts and questions.
And if you loved this lesson, please be sure to share the Confident English love with your friends.
~ Annemarie
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Great lesson i n politeness!
amazing!😱😁
Good inputs on how to disagree. It was very helpful.
Magnificent resource, thank you.
Dear Annemarie I am so glad to find your /this site !! Finally !!! I have been living in the UK over 20 year; married to an English man who speak articulate English; brought up 3 lovely daughters and 2 of them at university YET I have only just recently come to the realisation of the very reason WHY and HOW I have upset/lost so many of my friends and/or relationships over the years….totally unintentionally …. because of my total inability to use the ‘right’ , polite phrases to express my point of you and disagreement …!!! ( this is… Read more »
Hi Irene, Thank you so much for sharing this very heartfelt and thoughtful comment. I’m thrilled that my lesson could help you in the process of ‘rediscovering’ how English speakers communicate. It is SUCH a challenge to transition to a new language and understand the cultural subtleties. It can take a lifetime. I’ve experienced this in my second language too. I’m sorry to hear it has caused you much heartache over the years. But be kind to yourself and be patient. We are all works in process. 🙂 I thought of some other lessons I have that are similar to… Read more »
From my perspective, here in America we tend to be offended when someone disagrees. It takes a mature person to really listen to a different idea if it is not the same as yours. I’m learning myself how to disagree politely because I either react in an upset manner or I withdraw and don’t say anything if I feel the other person is going to be upset or not listen to what I have to say. I have found also that another way to disagree is to insert the word “and/or” instead of “but”. For example you could say, “I… Read more »
Hi Michelle,
I love these comments! Thank you so much for sharing. You’re right that disagreeing with someone is a delicate matter. In English-speaking culture, most people prefer to avoid disagreements or any conversation that may be uncomfortable. As a result, it’s important to be polite and diplomatic. You’ve added some wonderful suggestions to this topic. 🙂
“this determination does not take an ax handle” I thought, that nobody can understand this wrong expression.
I wanted to say: the specific childhood environment strongly determines the adult skills, and this influence is not in wain.
This determination doesn’t a crumb of comfort.
Dear Annemarie, I have a colleague (compeer) with whom the relationship is not unclouded. He acts that constantly puts himself over me. It is because he is five year older, and he has some special ability without doubt. Otherwise He is absolutly beyond all bearings if he get any authority, and this is the opinion of our whole company. Sometimes it is a great challenge to bear him, and communicate with. I have been mistakes about the communication with him apparently, although I had been brainstormings et al, how to manage the point of situations. Some times I was such… Read more »
I had to stop my reply because the time is over, and I left a phrase At the end of my reply, I hope I can follow this communication with that later.
I’d like to thank you this important, valued lesson! I arised a lot of thought. or I’ve been arising a lot of Thought (?) In a case of disagreement, the most difficult is to gain sympathy. This is while the communication always moves slightly together with the whole personality, and often nobody can pretend eyebeam or facial mimicry. Also important the level of adrenalin and other stress hormons in a point of a situation. People have to learn long life the successful communication, and establish their brakes, while they can win their opinion againts others. The specific childhood environment strongly… Read more »
Hello András, Thank you for the comment and I’m glad you found it useful. For your comment, “I arised a lot of thought” you can say: “It gave me a lot to think about.” And I agree – communication is an important skill to learn. I’m glad to know you learned some phrases that you can use with a colleague at work in this lesson! That’s great. As for your expression “this determination does not take an ax handle” – I’m not sure I understand it. I cannot think of a similar expression in English. Could you try to explain… Read more »
it useful.
Glad to hear that, Boon.