How to Respond to Bad News in English with Empathy
This lesson was originally published in June 2016. It was updated with new content and new video lesson in June 2024.
Let me ask you, how do you respond to bad news in English?
Like a friend sharing a difficult personal situation or a colleague delivering disappointing work news?
You and I both know that your reaction can truly make a difference.
But… responding to bad news, even in your native language, can be challenging. Right?
You might worry about saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say at all. Then, when you’re communicating in English, this becomes even trickier.
You might find yourself defaulting to simple phrases like a simple “I’m sorry,” or perhaps being at a loss for words, choosing not to say anything at all.
Today, I’m here to help you build your vocabulary and give you the tools to respond with empathy and understanding.
It’s not just about the words; it’s about connecting with people and supporting them through tough times. By the end of this lesson, you’ll feel more prepared and confident in handling these delicate situations.
So, if you’re ready to learn how to express your feelings appropriately and avoid common mistakes, let’s get started.
How to Respond to Bad News in English with Empathy
Okay, first, let’s briefly talk about how not to respond to bad news.
Have you ever heard the following?
- I know how you feel.
- Look on the bright side.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- Better luck next time.
While the intentions may be in the right place, these phrases don’t do much to truly make someone feel heard.
Instead, they take attention away from the person’s feelings and may reflect your discomfort with the bad news.
Instead, we can respond to bad news intentionally and empathetically.
To do so, follow these two steps:
- Acknowledge the news and/or negative feelings.
- Invite an action.
Informal Ways to Respond to Bad News in English
Whether you or someone is:
- canceling dinner plans;
- working overtime on the weekend;
- stressing over a lost cell phone;
- spilling ketchup on a new shirt;
- getting a cold;
- experiencing a bad breakup;
- or, taking care of a sick loved one,
These responses are best for close friends, family members, and colleagues when the news is bad or disappointing but not terrible.
Common Responses:
- What a bummer!
- Hope you feel better soon. (Used when someone isn’t feeling well or is getting sick.)
- Sorry, that’s rough/awful/disappointing.
- Oh, I’m SO sorry. What can I do to make you feel better?
- That’s awful. Do you want to talk about it?
- Oh no, that’s terrible!
- That’s horrible. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
- That’s so unfair! You deserve better!
- I can’t believe it! What do you need right now?
Scenario #1: Canceled Dinner Plans
Imagine your friend cancels dinner plans with you 30 minutes before the reservation. She calls to say that she has to attend to a family matter.
In this situation, you could respond with:
- Oh no, that’s terrible! I hope everything is ok and we can catch up another time.
In this response, you acknowledge the bad news and express empathy. At the same time, you also leave an open invitation for the person to follow up soon after.
Scenario #2: A Bad Break-up
Perhaps your sibling recently broke up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. In response to the news, you could say:
- That’s awful! I’m so sorry this happened. What do you need right now?
Again, in this example, I’m acknowledging the bad news, expressing my sympathies, and following up with an action.
Formal Ways to Respond to Bad News in English
On the other hand, if the news is work-related or from an acquaintance, these responses may be better for truly bad news.
For example:
- Losing a job
- Losing a beloved pet
- Getting into a car accident
- Losing a big client
- Getting your car stolen
- Getting severely injured
- Missing a major deadline
- Resigning from a job
Common Responses:
- Please let me know what I can do to help.
- I’m very sorry – that must be awful/frustrating/scary/difficult.
- That’s unfortunate and I hope we can find a way to move forward.
- I’m so sorry to hear that!
- What awful news! I’m sorry. What can I do to help right now?
- I’m sorry to hear such terrible news.
- I’m very sorry; I truly don’t know what to say.
- I’m disappointed to hear that, but I know we can find a way to work through this together.
Scenario #3: Losing a Job
Imagine your coworker was recently laid off, and they share this news with you. You might respond with:
- I’m very sorry; I truly don’t know what to say. What can I do to help right now?
This response is appropriate since you acknowledge the terrible situation without making assumptions about your employer. In the same breadth, you also offer a helping hand to a coworker who may need it.
Scenario #4: Missing a Major Deadline
Perhaps, you’re a manager, and a team member has missed a critical deadline for a project. When they bring this to your attention, it would be appropriate to say:
- I’m disappointed to hear that we couldn’t make this deadline and I’ll need to think of how to make up for lost time. What solution do you have in mind?
In this response, while you do acknowledge the unfortunate turn of events, the focus is on shifting the thinking to finding a solution together. The response is both empathetic and efficient for work.
Ways to Respond to Very Sad or Shocking News in English
When friends, colleagues, and family members share news of grief, such as the death of someone or a divorce, these expressions are the most appropriate.
Common Responses:
- I wish I had the right words, just know I care deeply. And I’m ready to listen if you want to talk.
- I’m truly sorry for your loss. (Used to express sympathy for news of a death.)
- Please accept my sincerest condolences/sympathies. (Used to express sympathy for news of a death.)
- If you need anything at all, I’m here for you.
- My heart hurts for you. I’m very sorry.
Scenario #5: Death of a Loved One
When someone passes away, it would be appropriate to respond with:
- I’m so sorry for your loss. If you need anything at all, I’m here for you.
After you’ve watched the video, I’d love to hear from you! Review my two questions and share your responses to these questions in the comments section below.
- How do you usually help friends or loved ones in time of need?
- Are there common expressions you use to show sympathy?
As always, you can also ask questions or leave your feedback in the comments section below. Thank you for joining me for your Confident English Wednesday. I’ll see you next week! – Annemarie
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Thank you, Annemarie, it´s an especially useful content and awesome video.
thank AnneMarie for excelente lesson.
My answer is:
I ussually help hearing everthing with attention, and help I can
How you feel better soon
I cant believe it ! What do you need?
I’m so sorry to hear that
I’m glad this lesson was helpful, Dalia! And thanks for sharing your example answers.
For the first one, did you mean, “Hope you feel better soon” rather than “How…?”
I am with you in this tough situation you are facing
informative blog
Impressive! Thanks for sharing this.
Such a great information. This is really very helpful for bloggers
Impressive! Thanks for sharing this.
A common expression I use to show empathy is “Everything is fine, nothing lasts forever, this will be over soon.”
When a friend or loved one needs me, what I usually do is give them a strong hug and empathic words that can help them at that moment, it may not be of much help but it is good to know that your intention is to help and more if they are people who want.
A common expression that I and all of us commonly use is a smile since in this way we express to others how happy we are about something.
“…what I usually do is give them a strong hug and empathic words that can help them at that moment, it may not be of much help but it is good to know that your intention is to help and more if they are people who want.” — 100% yes! I agree with you, Maria. These simple acts of kindness go long way.
Useful post! I really need this type of article.. this is very useful for me.
Such a great information. This is really very helpful for bloggers
Incredible! Clean and tidy work! Will follow your website every day 💓
I like the clean design of the website. Well done.
great
Hi ,
This is very useful in my life. Thank you so much madam. Surely, I use this .
I noticed a typo in #171: How to Teach & Work Online — 5 Tools to Get Strated
Loss is an inescapable part of life. Whether we’ve lost someone to death, or are going through a living loss such as divorce, retirement, a life-threatening illness, a debilitating injury or a life-altering condition like dementia or addiction, support can make all the difference in helping us summon the strength, faith and courage to fight our way back into life. Do 1. Express your condolences. A simple, sincere “I’m so sorry for your loss,” a soft hand on a shoulder or a caring hug are usually perfect. 2.Be present. Stay in touch even when others begin to disappear. 3. Show… Read more »
The unfortunate truth is that at some point we will all be faced with the uncomfortable reality of losing a loved one. Our friends and family play a big part in how we deal with this loss and their love and support can make all the difference.
amazing content.
thank you for sharing
We are so glad you found it helpful! Thanks for the lovely comment!
Hi, a friend’s parent is ill. while i do check on her (on SMS) about her well being and how her father is doing, i do not have the courage to call her up and have a conversation. her replies are monosyllabic too (for obvious reasons). i am afraid i’ll hear a bad news at any moment. should i call her up or should i continue chatting with her (assuming she would be going through rough time and that she may be surrounded by relatives)? should i also go see her? please help me understand the set of words i… Read more »
One month ago I heard my best friend divorced her husband and put their house on sale. After thirty years of marriage they decided to be happy with other parteners. All friends were shocked, I was shocked as well but life goes on. I am shocked because they are a great example for me and our friends. In my opinion, I think their relationship was great just for us but not for them. When I heard the news I could only say. I’m so sorry for you, but you don’t forget that when a door closes, another whith great possibilities… Read more »
Hi Anna,
That is a shocking story! And it’s always sad when something like that happens to a close friend or family member. But it sounds like you had some encouraging thoughts to share with your friend.
I’m so happy to watch your videos and to read the material on speak confidently in English.
It’s not only useful but fruitful and very practical as well as valuable in day today life
I’m grateful to you for taking pain to make them available here
I’m in ELT for the last 38 years and working for the tribal and vernacular children to make them sure and confident in English
Thank you so much again
Hello Dr. Vyas,
Thank you for your kind comments. I’m thrilled to know my lessons are useful to you in your daily life and for the children you work with.
Dear Annemarie, It’ is always a great challange for a doktor to say bad news to his patient, moreover to the relatives in a situation when their relative has died. We ourselves need to learn through our own experience of appropriate behavior in such situations. There was no such a subject course of my university life. Nowadays a whole institute help the students to learn the appropiate commiserate, that how can we be adequate and whole with ruth. We always have to give expression to sympathy. The american habit how to realize a specific help to a fammily in deep… Read more »
Hello András, Thank you for your comments. I’m certain that giving bad news is very difficult for doctors.
In English, we talk about “palliative care.” This is the care that doctors give to patients and family members to improve quality of life and showing empathy when discussing painful, difficult topics. This is a very important topic in modern medicine.
I’m glad you found this lesson useful to you!
One question: What did you mean by “We have to egg us …?”
Hey Annemarie,
It is remarkable how correctly you wrote the accents of András’ name 🙂
Hi Anne,
This lesson was very helpful and filled another gap in my English. Thanks a lot!!
Hello Bahar – It’s great to hear from you again. And thank you! I’m thrilled this was useful to you!
It certainly is important to know what we can say in these kinds of situations.
I hope you’re well. ~ Annemarie