3 Simple Tips to Master Small Talk in English
This lesson has been updated from its original version in April 2015.
Where are you from? What did you do last weekend? What are your hobbies? These are questions you’ve probably learned for small talk in English.
But are there better questions to ask and is small talk really necessary? Small talk seems unimportant. And maybe, like me, you don’t like making small talk. Especially in English. Not only does it seem silly but you’re not sure what questions to ask.
The truth is, small talk has an important role in English culture and conversation. Yes, small talk is polite but unimportant conversation but…
We use small talk to get to know others and to find a connection. It helps us start a conversation when we meet someone for the first time or to get comfortable in a stressful situation such as a job interview or to help pass the time.
With the right tools and understanding of how small talk in English works, you will be confident when you:
- Meet new people at a party or work event
- Interview for a new position or job with a new company
- Begin a meeting with a current or potential client
- Network at a job fair or marketing event
- Meet a parent at your child’s school
- Chat with your neighbors
In today’s lesson, you’ll learn 3 rules for successful small talk + my favorite questions for more interesting small talk.
Get my favorite questions for small talk.
3 Tips + My Favorite Questions for Small Talk in English
Tip 1: Do talk about common interests: sports, current events, hobbies, movies, TV, etc.
These topics are easy for everyone. And it will help you find a connection with your conversation partner.
Example questions include:
- What do you do in your free time?
- What did you do last weekend?
- What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?
- What will you do this weekend?
- Did you read about …. in the newspaper?
- Have you seen any good films recently?
- How was your last vacation?
- If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would it be and why?
- What’s something interesting you’ve seen/read/heard/done recently?
Don’t talk about religion or politics.
These topics are only for close friends and family because some people have very strong opinions about these topics or the topics are too personal.
Tip 2: Do ask about personal information in general, for example, where someone comes from or what they do.
In English-speaking culture, a very common question to ask is, “What do you do?” This question is asking about your job or your profession. This one question is really asking, where do you work, what is your profession, and what do you do in your job?
Generally, English-speakers spend a lot of time talking about their job. This may not be true in your culture but don’t be surprised if a native English speaker asks about your job. It’s a very common small talk topic.
Other example questions include:
- Where are you from originally?
- Do you come from a large or small family?
- What do you like about living here?
- What’s the most famous dish in your country?
- What do you like about living here?
Don’t ask questions that are too personal. For example, don’t ask about someone’s divorce or why they do not have children. Do not ask anything that could be painful or emotional to talk about.
“Generally, English-speakers spend a lot of time talking about their job. This may not be true in your culture but don’t be surprised if a native English speaker asks about your job. It’s a very common small talk topic.”
Tip 3: Do ask or talk about work in a positive way with co-workers, clients, and peers. Talking about work with your colleagues is often a way to build a relationship. It’s a great first step in getting to know your co-workers. Example questions or conversations include:
- What are you working on these days?
- How is your current project going?
- Are you working on anything interesting these days?
- What did you think about the presentation?
- What did you like about the presentation?
Don’t be negative about your work, job, or other co-workers.
Want more helpful lessons on small talk in English? Try these:
7 Questions to Help You Talk About the Holidays in English
5 Easy Small Talk Questions for Conversations about Travel in English
I’d love to hear about your experiences with small talk!
Take a look at the questions below and leave your answers in the comments section below.
- What is your favorite small talk question?
- Do you have a tip you can share for successful small talk? Your advice might be exactly what someone else needs to be more successful.
As always, you can share your answers and thoughts with me in the comments section below. It’s the best place to share, get feedback, and learn from others in the Confident English Community.
– Annemarie
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Dear Annemarie,
thank you ever so much for this video. My ´recipe´ for initiation of a small talk is not to start by asking questions but rather sharing something that I´ve seen or done recently and expressing my excitement about it. The experiences that I share this way are usually those that can be beneficial to my discussion partner/s. For example, I share excitement about your videos with people who are learning English or want to improve it 🙂
I don´t know if this can help though it has worked for me.
Have a great Christmas season!
Hi Dasa, Thank you so much for your comment. I love this strategy of showing excitement rather than asking questions! I think it can definitely help others.
Also, I’m actually preparing a lesson on how to show interest when some one is talking to you, which you might like.
And thank you for sharing my videos with others. I appreciate it. 😍
Hi Annemarie
I’m very thankful for your videos. These are the most practical and effective even more than all videos which I watched before. I’m trying to practice speaking in English everyday according to your advice. I wish that I could speak English fluently in a year by these lessons.
Have a great weekend！
Thank you so much for the lovely comment, Helen. I’m glad to know my lessons are effective and practical! I wish you much success as you continue to practice.
HI!
It was great! I’m looking forward to watching more videos.
I love this.
Best regards,
Kosta
Hi Annemarie mam,
I am comfortable with small talk.
I just asked to other person about their child school and talking about nearby shopping places.
Not comfortable with personal questions so I am avoiding that type of questions.
Once again thank you so much 😊
Thank you Annemarie
i love your strategies… i hv a lot difficulties to talk to strangers hate it☹️.. the min they start to open a conversation i feel very nervous and act as i dont know the language at all. But hopefully your tactics will help soon.
thank you again
Small talks are very necessary indeed but sometimes to start up a conversation maybe difficult to deal with. Most definitely I love small talks because I easily express myself well enough than in long conversations which becomes so boring
Hi Ekomise, Thanks for the comment. I’m thrilled to hear you enjoy small talk and you can express yourself. That’s awesome!
Hi Annemarie. Thank you for sharing useful lesson. Maybe small talk can be difficult for someone. I think small talk is important for learning English at first. It opens new conversation and developing you to speak more. When yo go to the park with your child to play, you see someone at there and you start introducing with small talk, next time when you see again, it will be easy for you to speak with each other.
You’re so welcome, Annamarie. And I love your perspective on small talk. I agree that if we can do it, it will make future conversations easier.
Hey Annmarie As usual, this blog is great, thank you for helping us to improve our English. First, I wish, you have a great Christmass time with your loved ones, Small talks can occur in different environments, depending on the familiarity between the people, close friends or family or totally stranges so the small talks treat different subjects, weather, daily success etc, but I think you¡ve explained this much better than me, in my case I’m retired so I don’t have a much social life, the most usual are encounters with people who have a public work so the most… Read more »
Thanks so much for the comment, Jaime. And I’m thrilled you find my blog helpful!
You’re so right that practice is essential! How do you try to get practice in English?
P.S. Thank you for the kind holiday wishes. I hope you had a great start to 2019!
Hi Annemarie,
Thank you again for the new lesson.
For me, small talks are interesting to break the ice especially when someone is newly hired and gives a sense of confidence and not necessarily relate to work. It could be beneficial to have small talk with neighbors and when you out shopping.
One should make small talk regimented to develop good speaking skills.
Hi Hyder,
Thanks for the comment. It’s great to hear that you enjoy small talk. And I agree it’s important for good communication skills.
Small talks are always a nightmare for me. Because starting a new conversation is the most difficult thing to do, definitely. I just spend so much time to think about what I want to say, how I should say it in the right way, If I need to use a phrasal verb or an expression to sound not so far from a native speaker and so. And, above all, when the conversation is over, I always think that I should have expressed my thoughts in a better way.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Vincenza. It can definitely be a challenge to find the word you want in the moment. But I hope you’ll find opportunities to practice so that it gets easier and easier.
I’m not very good at small talks, probably because I’m rather shy or maybe I need to feel that someone really want to talk with me. There must be this attitude on both sides. I don’t like to be forced to do something and honestly I would find it weird to ask some stranger about his last vacation…
Hi Michal,
Yes, small talk definitely is a challenge. I don’t feel comfortable chatting with strangers either, but in some cases I know it’s essential for English-speaking culture. For example, at a business meeting, a networking event, or a friend’s party. The key is choosing questions you’re comfortable asking. It might not be appropriate talking about a vacation with someone at a business meeting but there are many other questions that can be great for that situation. 🙂
Thank you so much for your good tips for a nice small talk with someone. I have learned something interesting about American culture at the same time.
Hi Le Thi Oanh,
I’m thrilled that this lesson was useful and that you learned something interesting about English-speaking culture. Is small talk important in your culture as well?
I need to get accustomed to small talk based on my job profile but my culture doesn’t have much background to small talks. When we connect to someone, we sort of create a bond and need to be open to share anything. While this is not true in America.
Hi Binny,
Thank you for sharing your experience. Small talk is definitely a skill to develop. Can you tell me what you mean by “While this is not true in America?”